You look at me with kind eyes that stretch into the horizon, and whisper words made from the melody of your heartbeats. You look at me with feelings that flow, pouring flowers from your lips and onto mine. You stay. And I push. And you stay. And I can’t breathe. Because I look at you with the sorrow of the words you’ll never mean. I look at you with blame for all the pain you will impose on my survival. I see you on my sheets, staining them with your scent that will curl up under my spine and unearth my lungs.
I look like a fresh Lilly with dew on my petals, waking up on a Sunday morning, with life sprouting in my veins. I seem like a drowsy drizzle on the edge of your window, pulling you from your soft slumber to come play under the willow tree.
But fundamentally and down to the core, I am a drenched log, expanding from all the humidity that has caused my heart to weigh me down. I am a leap of faith that has seized to comprehend distance and dimensions. I am a sentence of jumbled up words allocating letters to the sounds they don’t belong to.
Love, I trust your eyes, your lashes clutching to them like they’re what make you thrive.
Love, I believe in the air that blows through your ribs, bringing you closer together.
I just don’t trust the time that it took for you to fall, the same time it will take you to put on your coat and walk away.
So smoke the flowers in my head into oblivion, desperately trying to turn memories into stories of pure fantasy. Tell me one more time that my bones grew thorns into your delicate skin. Draw on my back the scars of your heartbreak. Shed tears into my palms so I can turn them into a trophy and place it behind bars on a pedestal of sorts.
Darling, drain it all. Stain the sheets of our wilted petals. Fall apart on the pavement where we first realized it was all breaking into a million pieces.
And then dance.
Dance like the world owes you a lover. Dance like our love owes you empowerment. Move like your soul is made of mesmerizing ondulations.
Is that what you’re looking for?
A voice that resonates into your spine to convince you that you are ok. You are ok. You are ok.
I must say, things turned out to be nothing like I had imagined…
When life deals you a certain set of variables, you’d think that the options are so limited. You think that this is the most that you’re gonna take it.
But the truth is, if you let your imagination run a little wild, you’ll find yourself in places you never dreamed of seeing. If you just let loose, you’ll turn those options around and create your own set of variables.
Everything is interchangeable and intertwined. When a drop of your tears falls, or a vibe of your laughter glows your entire future re-shapes itself.
Nothing is for granted, nothing is stolen, all is deserved! The colors of life are infinite and admirable, so why not use them and abuse them… what’s there to lose?!
There are certain moments, in one’s life, which he does not forget.
Yes of course, I know what comes to mind first; life changing, self revealing, soul exploring moments when you know that our life will never be the same again: turning points.
However, this is not what I’m talking about. We all go through various turning points in our lives where every single perspective around us changes and either evolves or gets destroyed. Where you know that your life’s path will diverge completely from its original course, because you, yourself, are simply no longer the same person anymore!
Deaths… Heart breaks…. Loss… Success… New beginnings… Betrayal and many other ups and downs.
No, what I’m talking about here is those simple pure moments of epiphany that happen once in a blue moon. It’s when you feel your entire existence changing as you go through it. As the seconds go by, you see it through your eyes how your perspective evolves and matures. How the colors you’re seeing are tangible as if you can almost taste them. How the air you breathe suddenly has a different taste of blossoming flowers and heavenly cloud. And how the breeze that swift by your hair feels warm on your neck and arms.
Those few seconds that you can only notice if you’re extremely aware of your six senses.
I was once on my way home through a road that I’ve known for years and years. A road that with time became so familiar to an extent where I became blind to its beauty and its scenes, to an extent where I became oblivious of the little details around it, up until the point it became unfamiliar to me.
You could say I was feeling quite blue at the time. And the colors around me were dull and dusty.
What I’m going to describe to you next, I can see it every time I close my eyes specifically and utterly.
I turn my head to the window, overlooking the vast valley of green trees and to my surprise I was mesmerized by a golden ray of sunlight that was overflowing the entire forest. The colors that were not so long ago fade and dark, were now enlightened and flashy in such a way that my eyes grew bigger and I remember having to catch my breath away because of how beautiful that scene was. The merging colors went straight to my heart and touched it.
I whispered to my dad to stop the car, but he was moving too fast to notice anything himself. I recall clearly just wanting to get out of that car and sit at the edge of the valley and just stare at the view for hours on end.
This barely lasted five seconds…. But the warm feeling of how the once familiar regained its glory and beauty tingled up my emotions.
You might not relate to what I’m trying to convey by sharing this experience with you, and you might think that there is no way this could be considered as a turning point. However, as much as I’d like to think it wasn’t myself, I must admit that these brief seconds changed my entire year’s course.