Rising above my own pettiness.


The hardest part of letting go of a grudge you’ve held on for so long, is realizing that you’ve been nesting it. When you stop giving yourself excuses and alibis for acting the way you do, for wasting so much energy on something, someone, that’s when the magic happens… and often, you just need someone to shake you and to simply ask you to “Snap out of it”

You see, there are fleeting moments in, life, beautiful moments that, to the wandering eye, may seem meaningless, but which in fact hold so much preciousness: sharing a glass of wine on the balcony or catching up with an old friend or even simply welcoming someone through the door… it’s such a waste to have little moments throughout your day tainted by so much anger.

Anger… what a feeling… it can drive the best of us to our own destruction, or motivate us and fuel our being and actions.
Either way, once anger settles, it becomes an inner monster leeching on your soul. When you let it out, shout, scream, break a couple of dishes, fall into sobs or simply paint it off; it slowly dissipates and filters out of your system. However, and this is when it becomes dangerous, when you let anger and frustration marinate within you and repress it, it eats your soul out, disfigures your heart, pops your veins, controls you movement. It becomes this black monster just waiting to destroy everything in its path…

It’s such a terrible thing when you let it get the best of you. Moreover, unless you snap this tight thread by its core, it will always keep resurfacing.

Grudges can last for so long. Sadly they linger especially between close ones, for when you feel such terrible emotions towards someone so dear and near, how do you find the courage- no the hearts- to tell them? To face them? How do you storm out on a beloved? When you’re feeling so hurt and betrayed, how do you share it? Do you show your wounds to those who hurt you the most?
And isn’t it a bit sad when those who supposedly love you the most, those who are the closest to you hurt you? Then again, it’s these people in fact and these only who have that power.

I guess it all balances out depending on how much you care and how indispensable this person is. Sacrifices must be made in all kinds of relationships. Question is, are they worth it?

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